Awan

  Don’t Be Afraid of the Future My child, don’t be too afraid of the things that haven’t happened yet. Don’t let the shadows of the future paralyze your steps. The future is full of uncertainty, I know. But here’s something I believe—you can begin shaping it today. Grow steadily, little by little, and don’t stop. Your father isn’t a perfect man. But I’m trying my best to become someone you can be proud of. And when the time comes and you enter this world, I want you to become better than me—stronger, wiser, and kinder. I love you, even before I’ve met you. One day, I will build a little family that is strong enough to weather any storm. A home that may not be perfect, but is full of warmth and protection. And in that home, I will stand as a father—not to rule, but to lead with love. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Wrong, and Never Be Ashamed to Ask There will be many things you don’t know yet. And that’s okay. You don’t have to understand everything right away. Don’t be afraid to a...

  Have you ever felt lost, but didn’t know what exactly was missing? Not the loss of an object, nor the absence of someone. But as if you've lost yourself—your identity, your way of thinking, your purpose, your determination, even the principles you once held so tightly. Everything feels empty, like a quiet war inside this small body. You don’t know who to confide in, or where to go to find a cure. As if, in this moment, only you remain. Have you ever felt left behind? While others are already far ahead, you haven’t even taken your first step. Like missing the ship at the dock, even though the ticket was already in your hand. Ironically, you don’t even know where the ship is headed, or where it will eventually anchor. Everyone seems to have a destination, a place to pause. But me? I’ve lived twenty-one years and still have no idea where I’m going. What I feel now is just one thing: a deep sense of being left behind, and helplessness. Why do others already know what they...

  Pernah merasa hilang, tapi tak tahu apa yang sebenarnya hilang? Bukan kehilangan barang, bukan kehilangan orang. Tapi seperti kehilangan diri sendiri —identitas, cara berpikir, tujuan, tekad, atau bahkan prinsip yang dulu sempat dipegang erat. Semua terasa hampa, seperti sedang berseteru dalam tubuh yang kecil ini. Tak tahu harus mengadu ke siapa, tak tahu harus ke mana mencari obatnya. Seolah, hanya diri ini yang tersisa. Pernah juga merasa tertinggal? Saat orang-orang sudah melangkah jauh, tapi kita bahkan belum mengangkat kaki dari tempat berpijak. Seperti ketinggalan kapal di dermaga, padahal tiket sudah digenggam. Ironisnya, kita bahkan tak tahu ke mana kapal itu akan berlayar, tak tahu di mana ia akan berlabuh. Setiap orang punya tujuan, punya tempat berhenti. Tapi aku? Hidup dua puluh satu tahun, masih belum tahu akan ke mana. Yang terasa hanya satu: rasa tertinggal, dan perasaan tak berdaya. Kenapa orang-orang sudah tahu mau jadi apa, sementara aku bahkan belum...

I’ve heard those words before. Too often, actually. “Try harder.” “Stop complaining, just keep going.” “Don’t give up, keep pushing.” Funny, isn’t it? The ones who say that have no idea what I’m really going through. They don’t see the prayers whispered late at night. They don’t know how many times I’ve started over after failing. They only see the surface. They don’t know about the small wounds I cover by myself every night. Sometimes, I wonder too, “When will I finally win?” But I’ve come to realize something — this journey isn’t just about winning or losing. It’s about who keeps going even when they’re tired. About who keeps standing even after falling again and again. About who chooses silence when mocked, and keeps walking even with shaking legs. Am I tired? Yes. But I know I can’t stop. I’ve realized that life always has a direction. No matter how exhausted I am, no matter how broken I feel, I’ll keep walking — even if I have to crawl to get there. I’ve made a promi...

  Have you ever met someone who, on the surface, seems like a complete mess? Someone whose actions make you shake your head — always causing trouble, never following the rules, making life harder for others. People around them often think, “This person’s hopeless.” Honestly, I used to think like that too — until life taught me a lesson I’ll never forget: I was judging too quickly. One day, I discovered a different side of a friend of mine who I thought was “trouble.” Turns out, he was incredibly respectful and kind to his parents. And whenever someone in our circle was struggling, he was the first one to show up and help — no matter who they were, never judging anyone’s background or story. His empathy was on another level, even compared to those who looked “good” on the outside. That moment made me realize something important: people are more than what they show on the surface. No matter how close you are to someone, you’ll never fully know who they are. Everyone has parts of the...

  Aku pernah duduk sendiri, menatap langit yang memerah di ufuk barat. Kala itu, senja terasa berbeda ada semacam ketidakberdayaan yang diam-diam menyelinap di dada. Di depanku, hanya ada pagar berduri yang membatasi pandangan. Tapi entah kenapa, dari balik duri-duri tajam itu, aku merasa seperti sedang menatap seseorang. Seseorang yang pernah begitu dekat, tapi kini seperti jauh dan asing. Terkadang hidup memang seperti itu. Ada banyak hal yang terlihat indah, tapi justru terasa sulit digapai. Kita hanya bisa berdiri diam, melihatnya dari jauh, dengan luka-luka yang tak kasatmata. Dari perasaan itu, lahirlah sebuah puisi sederhana. Bukan puisi tentang cinta yang manis, tapi tentang rindu yang terhalang , tentang keinginan yang terbentur kenyataan . Berikut puisinya: Langit senja yang memerah Di balik pagar berduri Aku berdiri Menatap sosok dirimu yang begitu merekah Kau dan aku terhalang sekat Pagar berduri menyayat kaki Aku ingin bersamamu walau sesaat Tapi... apakah kau mau ...